“You’re damn right, Demi,” interferes Meghan. “You know, Rose, trust my experience, don’t dwell on guilt. I can tell that you’re not comfortable in your own shoes for living with that Bruce guy and not forgetting about… what’s his name?”
“Virgil.” The six letters roll down my tongue like honey. I love saying his name. I love his name. A peculiar name for a peculiar guy. Inspired by Dante. Virgil, the guide through Hell.
As much as I hate to admit it, Meghan, a perfect stranger has a point.
“You ran into Bruce’s arms after Virgil rejected you, twice if I heard you correctly. What’s the big deal? You chose Bruce and he chose you. You’ll figure things out if or when Virgil is back in the picture. This is not the time, and maybe you won’t feel the same when you guys meet again. Or maybe you’ll want to break it off with Bruce. Take this one step at a time. Thinking about Virgil doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings for Bruce. And even if you don’t, at least you have great sex.”
When she says it like this, it sounds so simple.
“Has Bruce ever complained?” I shake my head no. “See, you’re both getting something out of this relationship. Think positive. Enjoy yourself.”
“Meghan’s right, Rose. You’ve been depressed enough for a lifetime!”
“Listening to you… and again, sorry for eavesdropping… let me tell you, stop judging yourself. I bet you think you’re a bitch for using Bruce in a way.”
That’s a way to put it. Let’s see where she’s going.
“In his own way, he’s using you, too. We’re all using people one way or another. You shouldn’t care what other people think. Nobody would question your behavior if you were a guy. They’d call you a Don Juan or a manwhore and look at you in awe. And it’s not like you’re even screwing the whole neighborhood. Look, you only got one life. One chance to test and learn. You will screw up eventually, we all do. But you got back on your own two feet the first time, didn’t you?”
Sure, Guillaume ruined a year of my life because I let him.
“You should have the upper hand. You’re in control of your own life.”
Am I? She sees my doubtful pout.
“Seize the day.” That does ring a bell. I succeeded in forgetting my own motto from Bret Easton Ellis’ book Rock’ n’ Roll, deal with it… “Every girl should. You’re an Amazon, strong, independent. Embrace your life as it is, Rose.”
More words of wisdom. And with that she strides to the cash register. She thanks us for the nice chat and says she’ll see us around, eventually.
“Take care girls.” She waves at us, smiling. Hopefully she’ll have fun with her boyfriend tonight…
As for me, I do miss Virgil. I love my life here but if I had the choice between this and a go with Virgil, I wouldn’t hesitate. I want him completely, flaws included. Demi should know this to understand where I’m coming from.
Why hadn’t I thought about this before?
I’m glad I told her. She doesn’t judge. She doesn’t berate. She doesn’t pretend.
© 2016 Hope Irving
DEADLY EVER AFTER (The Black Angel Book series, #2)
> Preorder sale $0.99, price will go up after release on 6/02
> Twice Upon A Time (Book 1) is on sale $0.99 and free on KU